Essays
Read in any order. Each one stands on its own.
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Peacemaker vs Peacekeeper: The Difference Is What You’re Willing to Disturb
A peacekeeper stops the argument. A peacemaker resolves it. Augustine’s definition of peace shows that the first is a counterfeit of the second.
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Biblical Boundaries: Scripture Doesn’t Talk About Limits. It Talks About Debts
The word boundaries isn’t in the Bible. What’s there instead is stronger: a doctrine of what is owed, to whom, and in what amount. Five questions settle it.
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Love Is Not a Floor
Ordinary people commit terrible acts using ordinary motives. Aquinas explains why, and why love makes a person more dangerous when their judgment is wrong.
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You Cannot Argue With a True Sentence
Reasoning with someone in a spiral fails because every sentence they are saying is true. What works instead is restoring the qualifiers that went missing, and knowing when questions stop working entirely.
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What the Wicked Count On
You cannot detect what someone is capable of. You can detect how they describe what they are doing, and the redescription always comes first, out loud, before the act.
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Does Respect Have to Be Earned?
Respect is earned, not given. Half of that is true, and the half it hides does all the work. Esteem is earned. Standing and honor are owed.
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How Can I Respect Him When I Don’t Admire Him?
Respect means two things. One is owed in every marriage. The other cannot be faked, and asking for it is asking your spouse to lie.
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How to Validate Someone’s Feelings Without Lying to Them
Validating a feeling means saying it makes sense, not that it is right about everything. How to hear someone out, then help them see more.